When I was a little boy I vaguely remember pushing my plastic lawn mower behind my dad as he mowed the yard. I couldn’t wait to be an adult when I could actually mow the yard for real. What in the world was I thinking? I found myself saying those words again a couple weeks ago in my car, this time quite seriously.
But alas, I’m getting ahead of myself. Picture a teenager in the parking lot of the YMCA (even though “It’s fun to pray at the YMCA,” I was thinking, not praying.) It had been a wonderful day but I was beginning to detect a pattern from my short time on the planet. I predicted a bad spell coming soon when lots of bad things would happen, followed by another good streak. Sure enough that has pretty much been the case in my life. Even though I realize that, I still get down emotionally at times and am often surprised when things go wrong (see the lyrics for “The Game” on my website.) When we feel down it is often hard to remember it’s just a feeling that will change and things will get better. On the other hand I can get overconfident when things go well, which led to the statement that made me wonder what in the world I was thinking.
See, God has blessed me more than I deserve. I have no doubt about that. I have excelled in many sports, graduated #1 from my high school (no I was not home schooled) as well as college, had songs I’ve recorded played on the radio, been on a few different TV shows. I thank God for giving me the greatest family on the planet (my brothers Dave & Terry who are impacting this world in a huge way and for whom I have the utmost respect, my mom who is loved by every one who knows her, as well as an incredible number of people who have never met her & my dad who, just before he died, gave me a gift he couldn’t afford that allowed me to record music.) God also knew who would be the perfect wife for me and brought Kristen, whom I love dearly, into my life at the perfect time.
I had this dream to travel around the country – or anywhere off my street would have been pretty cool – playing my guitar, singing songs & speaking to groups. I actually spoke to a group of over 4,000 once (which I know to many of you sounds more like a nightmare than a dream.) Unbelievably to me I have been able to live my dream traveling in this ministry for 20 years now! I know it is totally God’s grace that has kept me going because I am not that good at speaking or singing.
So anyway, a number of months ago I remember being in the midst of one of those times where everything was going well and telling God that even if things went downhill physically or I was kidnapped and persecuted or if I was not able to drink Root Beer again, I would have no grounds to complain. I would be content. Like Job said when he wrote that song “Blessed be your Name”, if nothing else good happened in my life, I would still choose to thank God for this life He has blessed me with. Of course, those are the things you say when you’re feeling great, forgetting that a time will come when things aren’t going so well & you aren’t feeling so great. Then all you can think of is, “God, why me?” or “This isn’t fair.” You forget statements like this one I made to God (from this point forward in this document the aforementioned statement will be referred to as WITWWIT or Nitwit for short.)
So there I was in the car and the last few painful, crazy months flashed into my mind along with the words “What in the world was I thinking?” referring to Nitwit, of course. It was then the thought struck me, how can I know what others are thinking every newsletter when I don’t even know what I am thinking? At that very moment a timely song came on our Christian radio station talking about keeping your head up in tough times and how the skies will clear up after those cloudy, rainy, dark days . . . unless of course you live in Seattle (don’t worry, that part was not in the song.) Shortly after that I heard these words from another song: “You never said it would be easy, But You said You'd see me through the storm.”
In addition to the recent hurt & pain, the future uncertainty of this ministry has led me to wonder if I might have to lay myself off! It has kind of been like a mid-life crisis, which is not all bad since that means I will live to be 100! (Just kidding, I’m not THAT old . . . it would take like 18,623,425 seconds to get to that point.) But the point is we all go through good times & bad times. We feel good some days & bad others. We can still choose to say thank you Lord, blessed be your name!
Here are some comforting Bible verses I have memorized lately because of the painful trials Kristen & I have gone though (she sure has been a support & encouragement.)
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.” I Peter 4:12,13
This next one is a verse my mom memorized after being falsely accused and taken to court. The jury easily determined her innocence. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
The next one is the last verse I sent to my dad before he went to heaven. “I am sure that what we are suffering now cannot compare with the glory that will be shown to us.” Romans 8:18
This quote is from a recent hurricane victim. “This experience has made me realize that I don’t deserve electricity, air conditioning, good food and clean water – I’ve been blessed with these things, and probably taken them for granted my whole life. There is no calamity, natural disaster, or personal sorrow that we will experience in this life that cannot be conquered by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. He promised to be with us through it all. After experiencing ground zero of the hurricane, I can testify first hand: His promises are steadfast and true.” “Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the world.” Mat. 28:20